Tuesday, after I had been out of town for eight days, my husband and I decided to take our daughter and head to Park City for a Family Day. We had originally intended to ride the Alpine Slide a couple of times and then go to lunch in Historic Downtown Park City. Instead we ended up with all day passes and dinner. We had a blast! We ended up riding the Alpine Slide once and the Alpine Coaster about five times – it was by far the most fun of the two slides. My daughter also wanted to climb the rock wall. This is where my story gets funny.
Keep in mind that my daughter is a very independent almost 7 year old who likes to pick her own clothes and will only wear skirts and dresses. Anyway, she got all harnessed in the climbing gear and began to proceed up the wall. As she got further up I happened to look up and see that underneath her nice skirt she was wearing underwear with no ass! I kid you not! She was mooning everyone at the bottom. I about fell over not sure whether to cringe or to laugh! I think she felt the wind on her bottom because she quickly came down and said she was finished! I still laugh when I think of what a sight she was! How embarrassing! I could have sworn I had gotten rid of all of her holy panties, but she must have snuck these past me. When she got down and was at my side I whispered, “Why did you wear panties with no butt?”
She shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know.”
After her climb, she wanted to jump on the trampoline that they harness you to the elastics and then you jump, so I told her to make sure she tucked her skirt in the harness this time!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE
Summer vacation is upon us and I have the good fortune to have a sister that is a teacher so she is off summers also, thus enabling her to tend my 6 year old daughter. My sister decided to buy a family season pass to the local zoo and she put down that she had five children (vice the three she really has) so that she could include my daughter and other niece. This leads me to the most recent escapade to the zoo.
My sister decided to take her three kids, my daughter, our nephew, and a family friend with her. Since none of them look like her she told them that if anyone asked them they were to say that they were her foster kids – I find this hilarious because only one of her three kids resembles her. Anyway, they get to the gate and for the first time since she has had the pass the attendant asks to see her identification. So while she is getting it out, my daughter runs up and says, “This is my mommy.” Well my niece (who is a year older than my daughter) decides that at this moment she is going to be jealous, so she begins arguing with my daughter.
She says, “No she isn’t! She’s MY mommy!”
Then Bella hollers, “She is not! She IS MY mommy!”
“She is my mommy and her name is Kristina Davis!” my niece finally hollers.
To which my precocious daughter replies, “Fine! She’s really my aunt but she told us to lie so we could get in the zoo for free!”
My sister said she wanted to die! The attendant raises her eyebrows but doesn’t say a thing and my sister just took her ID and walked through the gate as if it never happened. I told her that is what you get when you ask a six year old to lie!
My sister decided to take her three kids, my daughter, our nephew, and a family friend with her. Since none of them look like her she told them that if anyone asked them they were to say that they were her foster kids – I find this hilarious because only one of her three kids resembles her. Anyway, they get to the gate and for the first time since she has had the pass the attendant asks to see her identification. So while she is getting it out, my daughter runs up and says, “This is my mommy.” Well my niece (who is a year older than my daughter) decides that at this moment she is going to be jealous, so she begins arguing with my daughter.
She says, “No she isn’t! She’s MY mommy!”
Then Bella hollers, “She is not! She IS MY mommy!”
“She is my mommy and her name is Kristina Davis!” my niece finally hollers.
To which my precocious daughter replies, “Fine! She’s really my aunt but she told us to lie so we could get in the zoo for free!”
My sister said she wanted to die! The attendant raises her eyebrows but doesn’t say a thing and my sister just took her ID and walked through the gate as if it never happened. I told her that is what you get when you ask a six year old to lie!
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PROMISE
This past weekend I had the pleasure of spending the day with my ten year old nephew, my seven year old niece and my six year old daughter. My nephew was on his best behavior, but my daughter was another story. She started screaming about some injustice or other. Finally her dad told her that if she didn't behave we would leave her home and take one of her cousins with us to Disneyland next month. She immediately got quiet. Not another word was said about losing her trip to see Mickey Mouse and pals.
This evening my sister called me laughing. She said that my niece and nephew were hoping and praying that my daughter would be naughty and be left behind from Disneyland. They were arguing over who we would pick to take her place! I was chuckling because I had forgotten about that threat. My sister told me that I need to be careful about what threats I make because I got her kids hopes up! If I could handle all of them together for more than a few hours I would take them with us.
So, I must remember not to make threats that include taking something from my daughter and giving it to her cousins lest I plan on following through!
Friday, April 17, 2009
PLEASE QUIT TALKING
I don't know if it is out of boredom or because she is an only child, but my daughter never shuts up! She talks in her sleep! It's like she just says whatever is on her mind. It's a constant flow. Today, after picking up her 4 year old cousin, we were driving home. My niece was crying and wouldn't stop. Finally Bella asks, "Why are you crying Megyn?"
Megyn responds, "Because you never quit talking!"
I laughed all the way home because sometimes that about sums it up for me!
Megyn responds, "Because you never quit talking!"
I laughed all the way home because sometimes that about sums it up for me!
Sunday, March 15, 2009
GOTTA GET THE GIRL SOME RELIGION
I grew up with a mother who wanted us to experience all religions so that some day we could choose what we wanted. We went to Saturday night mass at the nearby Catholic Church, Primary at the LDS Ward, Vacation Bible School in the summer, and more. The result was that I am now so not into religion that I am not sure what I believe in. This would normally not be an issue, but my six year old has begun to ask a lot of questions about God, Jesus, angels, demons, and the devil. Oh and let’s not forget Heaven and Hell.
It really hit home when Saturday morning she came running into my room and hopped on the bed all excited because apparently she had been watching the Catholic station on cable. She was shaking me as she was excitedly telling me, “Mom! Mom! I’m watching some religion on TV and they said he is gonna rise! God is gonna rise on March 15th!” She was so excited it made me laugh!
I told my husband that he really needs to take her to church since I do know that I do not believe in religion itself. She is desperate to learn about religion and it shows! In the meantime I try to explain to her that God is NOT going to rise on the 15th.
It really hit home when Saturday morning she came running into my room and hopped on the bed all excited because apparently she had been watching the Catholic station on cable. She was shaking me as she was excitedly telling me, “Mom! Mom! I’m watching some religion on TV and they said he is gonna rise! God is gonna rise on March 15th!” She was so excited it made me laugh!
I told my husband that he really needs to take her to church since I do know that I do not believe in religion itself. She is desperate to learn about religion and it shows! In the meantime I try to explain to her that God is NOT going to rise on the 15th.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BELLA
The other day I took Bella to see her dentist for her bi-annual teeth cleaning. My sister was also there with my 14 year old nephew who was getting his braces fixed – that’s a whole other story, but let’s just say “Who chews on a nickel? Really?” When Bella was called back my nephew was walking out. She got all excited and was trying to give Tony a hug. Then she turns to the dental hygienist and says, “That’s my cousin, Tony. Do you want to know what we call him?”
“Yeah”, said the hygienist.
“We call him Tony Bologna.” The hygienist chuckled as she led us to our cube. After the hygienist cleaned Bella’s teeth the dentist came in. He started mentioning that she may need braces in the future and that he does orthodontics also. I replied that I knew that because my nephew, Tony, was one of his patients.
The dental hygienist turns to Bella and says, “Tell him what you call Tony.”
Bella gets silent for a moment and suddenly she blurts out, “STUPID! That’s what we call him!” We all start laughing and the hygienist points out that that was not what she told her on the way in. Bella looks at us and says, “Well, that’s what Aunt Tina calls him.”
“Yeah”, said the hygienist.
“We call him Tony Bologna.” The hygienist chuckled as she led us to our cube. After the hygienist cleaned Bella’s teeth the dentist came in. He started mentioning that she may need braces in the future and that he does orthodontics also. I replied that I knew that because my nephew, Tony, was one of his patients.
The dental hygienist turns to Bella and says, “Tell him what you call Tony.”
Bella gets silent for a moment and suddenly she blurts out, “STUPID! That’s what we call him!” We all start laughing and the hygienist points out that that was not what she told her on the way in. Bella looks at us and says, “Well, that’s what Aunt Tina calls him.”
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
RIKKI
Rikki “The Bastard” Tikki Tavi Martin Davis, 13 (91 in cat years), our beloved cat, used up the last of his nine lives on Wednesday February 11, 2009. Rikki was adopted when he was two years old by Racheall and Doug Martin. In 2003, he went to live with The Davis Family when Racheall developed severe allergies to cats. Rikki was an adventurous spirit and an awesome attack cat who was never content to sit still and be petted. He had many adventures during his lifetime. A few months after he moved with his family to Maryland, he disappeared for three months. Fearing the worst, his family thought they would never see him again, until they received a phone call from a woman who lived on a horse farm 25 miles away. Rikki had been found along the highway and was taken to the horse farm where he became very comfortable and was reluctant to return home.
Rikki ran the household using fear as his weapon. Those who knew him, knew that he had claws like razors and could slice your legs in a heartbeat if he felt like it. He used his weapon to corral the neighborhood dogs and to catch rodents living near the stream. Still, he could be a very loving cat when he wanted to, fluffing your belly and drooling while he was petted, but when he had had enough you knew. Rikki was a loner. He liked to hang out around the neighborhood only returning for food and water and the occasional touch from his people.
Rikki is survived by his people Tony, Cody, Olivia Davis, and Isabella Martin.
Rikki asked that he be cremated fearing that his people’s dog would dig him up if he were ever buried. A Memorial Service will be held on Sunday February 15, 2009 at the Davis Residence (2673 Melville Dr).
Rikki ran the household using fear as his weapon. Those who knew him, knew that he had claws like razors and could slice your legs in a heartbeat if he felt like it. He used his weapon to corral the neighborhood dogs and to catch rodents living near the stream. Still, he could be a very loving cat when he wanted to, fluffing your belly and drooling while he was petted, but when he had had enough you knew. Rikki was a loner. He liked to hang out around the neighborhood only returning for food and water and the occasional touch from his people.
Rikki is survived by his people Tony, Cody, Olivia Davis, and Isabella Martin.
Rikki asked that he be cremated fearing that his people’s dog would dig him up if he were ever buried. A Memorial Service will be held on Sunday February 15, 2009 at the Davis Residence (2673 Melville Dr).
Monday, February 9, 2009
VEILED INSULTS
I just started working out again after a 10 year hiatus – that’s what I like to call it! Last week was my first week of working out.
On my third day I was in the locker room getting ready to take a shower when this heavy girl comes up to me and asks, “How did your work out go?” I told her it had gone great. Then she says, “I used to be as big as you, then I lost 80 lbs.”
I stood there stunned before I could mumble out a not very enthusiastic, “Good for you.” She proceeded to tell me how it took her over a year to lose weight then continued talking about how she used to be big. The whole time she was talking I just kept staring at her thinking, “She seriously thinks she is skinny?” I finally managed to excuse myself and head to the showers.
I started thinking about her comment and it started to really bug me. Not in a sense that made me feel bad about myself, but in sense that why do fat people who have lost weight find the need to have to passively try to knock someone else down in order to make themselves feel good?
Later I told my brother what she said and he said that I should have responded with, “Thanks Bitch.” and then walked off. I told him that had our little sister been there she would have had some good come back.
Now I don’t know if this girl was honestly trying to “encourage” me with her words by saying if she could do it, then I could do it, but I don’t really care. The point is that people should really think about what flows out of his/her mouth before releasing it! I mean, wouldn’t it have been better for her to say, “I lost 80 lbs over the past year”? Why add in the veiled insult? How does she know how much I weigh? Personally, I think she looked like she weighed as much as I did.
Having been fat, then skinny, then fat, then skinny over and over, I would never make any assumptions as to someone else’s weight. I will not let her words knock me down. I will keep working out and one day I will be skinny again!
On my third day I was in the locker room getting ready to take a shower when this heavy girl comes up to me and asks, “How did your work out go?” I told her it had gone great. Then she says, “I used to be as big as you, then I lost 80 lbs.”
I stood there stunned before I could mumble out a not very enthusiastic, “Good for you.” She proceeded to tell me how it took her over a year to lose weight then continued talking about how she used to be big. The whole time she was talking I just kept staring at her thinking, “She seriously thinks she is skinny?” I finally managed to excuse myself and head to the showers.
I started thinking about her comment and it started to really bug me. Not in a sense that made me feel bad about myself, but in sense that why do fat people who have lost weight find the need to have to passively try to knock someone else down in order to make themselves feel good?
Later I told my brother what she said and he said that I should have responded with, “Thanks Bitch.” and then walked off. I told him that had our little sister been there she would have had some good come back.
Now I don’t know if this girl was honestly trying to “encourage” me with her words by saying if she could do it, then I could do it, but I don’t really care. The point is that people should really think about what flows out of his/her mouth before releasing it! I mean, wouldn’t it have been better for her to say, “I lost 80 lbs over the past year”? Why add in the veiled insult? How does she know how much I weigh? Personally, I think she looked like she weighed as much as I did.
Having been fat, then skinny, then fat, then skinny over and over, I would never make any assumptions as to someone else’s weight. I will not let her words knock me down. I will keep working out and one day I will be skinny again!
Friday, February 6, 2009
HOW ARE BABIES MADE?
A few weeks ago my six year old daughter got it into her head that she needs a sibling, preferably a baby sister. She has names picked out, Lily for a girl and Cody for a boy. She has even gone so far as to design how her room can be shared with the new sibling. She insists that she will be the best big sister ever and will help with every aspect of taking care of the baby – even changing diapers. I told her that it probably wasn’t in the cards for us. So she asked me if I would at least think about it and get back to her.
Later during the week she came to me and asked, “Exactly how did I get in your tummy?” I tried to respond using some vague explanation of how it is a miracle of birth. Her response was, “But really. How exactly did I get in there?” I was in a panic! Did I explain the whole process to my six year old and risk her telling all her friends at school?
I ended up going on the internet and looking up “What to tell my 6 yr old when she asks where babies come from?” I was led to several sites, but the best advice was to tell her the truth. It recommended I tell her that I had an egg that was fertilized by her dad and then go from there.
So I sat her down and I started explaining how women are born with ovaries that have eggs and that each month an egg is sent out where sometimes it gets fertilized by the dad’s sperm. She had this funny look on her face and it hit me, as I saw the little wheels in her mind turning and processing this, exactly what she was picturing. At that moment of dawning she said, “And then I kicked and kicked and broke myself out of the egg?” I had to explain to her that she was not hatched like a bird.
Again, I started over and tried to explain to her. This time she asked, “But how did dad get his fertilizer inside of you?” I was ready to give up when she said, “I know! You and dad make out!” I nodded my head in agreement and thought that would be the end of it.
Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t the end of the tiring string of questions. The next day she came up to me and asked, “Do you and dad get naked when you make out?” I proceeded to tell her that she needed to just give it a rest and that some things were private between a mom and a dad. I thought that would FINALLY be the end of it.
Oh no, I could not get off that easy. The following day she came running to me with a new plan, “Mom I am going to let you and dad make out together for 10 days and then you will have a baby in your tummy. How about that?” I chuckled and told her that it can take more than ten days of “making out” to get a baby. She didn’t believe me. That night she said, “Mom, promise me that you and dad will make out tonight!”
In the morning she got up all excited and came barging in on me in the bathroom. She was asking if her dad and I made out. I told her not to worry about it. Her response was, “Seriously, I really need to know!” Then she sat on the garbage can with her hands folded, staring at me with her big blue eyes and said, “Tell me all about it!” I was trying not to laugh as I told her to get out of the bathroom and let me have some privacy.
After all that she is still dying for a sibling and just about every day I get a plea from her to “make out” with her dad. She says she just knows I have a baby growing inside of me and she can’t hardly wait! She has even told her school friends that her parents are trying to make a baby. I can only imagine what they are passing along to their parents!
She is in for a big surprise when it doesn’t happen. In a way it makes me sad for her. I know that she sees all of her friends and their siblings and longs for her very own baby brother or sister. I never intended on having an only child, but that was what was dealt to me and I am very happy to be blessed with one child I do have.
Later during the week she came to me and asked, “Exactly how did I get in your tummy?” I tried to respond using some vague explanation of how it is a miracle of birth. Her response was, “But really. How exactly did I get in there?” I was in a panic! Did I explain the whole process to my six year old and risk her telling all her friends at school?
I ended up going on the internet and looking up “What to tell my 6 yr old when she asks where babies come from?” I was led to several sites, but the best advice was to tell her the truth. It recommended I tell her that I had an egg that was fertilized by her dad and then go from there.
So I sat her down and I started explaining how women are born with ovaries that have eggs and that each month an egg is sent out where sometimes it gets fertilized by the dad’s sperm. She had this funny look on her face and it hit me, as I saw the little wheels in her mind turning and processing this, exactly what she was picturing. At that moment of dawning she said, “And then I kicked and kicked and broke myself out of the egg?” I had to explain to her that she was not hatched like a bird.
Again, I started over and tried to explain to her. This time she asked, “But how did dad get his fertilizer inside of you?” I was ready to give up when she said, “I know! You and dad make out!” I nodded my head in agreement and thought that would be the end of it.
Unfortunately for me, it wasn’t the end of the tiring string of questions. The next day she came up to me and asked, “Do you and dad get naked when you make out?” I proceeded to tell her that she needed to just give it a rest and that some things were private between a mom and a dad. I thought that would FINALLY be the end of it.
Oh no, I could not get off that easy. The following day she came running to me with a new plan, “Mom I am going to let you and dad make out together for 10 days and then you will have a baby in your tummy. How about that?” I chuckled and told her that it can take more than ten days of “making out” to get a baby. She didn’t believe me. That night she said, “Mom, promise me that you and dad will make out tonight!”
In the morning she got up all excited and came barging in on me in the bathroom. She was asking if her dad and I made out. I told her not to worry about it. Her response was, “Seriously, I really need to know!” Then she sat on the garbage can with her hands folded, staring at me with her big blue eyes and said, “Tell me all about it!” I was trying not to laugh as I told her to get out of the bathroom and let me have some privacy.
After all that she is still dying for a sibling and just about every day I get a plea from her to “make out” with her dad. She says she just knows I have a baby growing inside of me and she can’t hardly wait! She has even told her school friends that her parents are trying to make a baby. I can only imagine what they are passing along to their parents!
She is in for a big surprise when it doesn’t happen. In a way it makes me sad for her. I know that she sees all of her friends and their siblings and longs for her very own baby brother or sister. I never intended on having an only child, but that was what was dealt to me and I am very happy to be blessed with one child I do have.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
TWO YEARS TODAY SINCE MY MOM DIED
My mom passed away two years ago today and the void still has not gotten any better. Tons of well intentioned people have told me over and over, “It will get easier with time.” I am here to tell you that it does not get easier with time!
Instead I dream about my mom all of the time. In my dreams she is still alive, but how could that be? I saw her die. I am angry at her. I am happy she is there. I miss her. I try to remember all the good times we had with her growing up and what a wonderful mom she was. Then I have a flood of emotion hit me making me miss her even more. I look at pictures and I laugh and cry at the same time.
I am jealous of my cousins and friends who have moms to run to and talk to and ask questions of. I want to know if my daughter is like I was at that age. I want to be able to give my mom a Mother’s Day gift and to spend time with her. I want to drive the Alpine Loop with her. I want to turn to her when I need to cry or when I am feeling ill. I want her to place her warm and motherly hands on my forehead and call me “hita”. I want to curl up by her side and snuggle like we used to. I want her to drive me crazy with her forgetfulness like she sometimes did. I want to laugh with her, cry with her, gossip with her, make jokes with her. I just want my mom.
I feel like a big baby. I am a grown woman with my own family and I miss my mom so much it hurts. I am angry because I feel cheated out of time with her! I am angry because I didn’t appreciate the time I did have with her! I am angry because she was still young! I am angry because my daughter won’t get to grow up with her in her life! I am angry.
So today I will try to occupy my mind with happy thoughts and I will try not to cry all day over how much I miss her, but truthfully, I don’t think it will work. Instead I will cry and I will miss my mom.
Instead I dream about my mom all of the time. In my dreams she is still alive, but how could that be? I saw her die. I am angry at her. I am happy she is there. I miss her. I try to remember all the good times we had with her growing up and what a wonderful mom she was. Then I have a flood of emotion hit me making me miss her even more. I look at pictures and I laugh and cry at the same time.
I am jealous of my cousins and friends who have moms to run to and talk to and ask questions of. I want to know if my daughter is like I was at that age. I want to be able to give my mom a Mother’s Day gift and to spend time with her. I want to drive the Alpine Loop with her. I want to turn to her when I need to cry or when I am feeling ill. I want her to place her warm and motherly hands on my forehead and call me “hita”. I want to curl up by her side and snuggle like we used to. I want her to drive me crazy with her forgetfulness like she sometimes did. I want to laugh with her, cry with her, gossip with her, make jokes with her. I just want my mom.
I feel like a big baby. I am a grown woman with my own family and I miss my mom so much it hurts. I am angry because I feel cheated out of time with her! I am angry because I didn’t appreciate the time I did have with her! I am angry because she was still young! I am angry because my daughter won’t get to grow up with her in her life! I am angry.
So today I will try to occupy my mind with happy thoughts and I will try not to cry all day over how much I miss her, but truthfully, I don’t think it will work. Instead I will cry and I will miss my mom.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
TEMPLE SQUARE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS
Last night was the first night for the Christmas lights at Temple Square. For those of you who do not live in Utah, this is a big deal. The Mormon Temple is lit up with beautiful colored lights. The visitor's center is jam packed with on-lookers gazing at the sight. Since we had out of town guests, we thought we would take them to see the spectacle. As an added treat we parked at a Trax lot and took the light rail into town. Isabella and her little cousin loved the train ride. Riley was oohing and ahhing the whole way. Then as we neared the temple, Isabella started pointing out things and telling me what they were. Finally she pointed at the temple and said, "And there is the haunted house."
I started laughing and said, "That's not a haunted house, that's the Mormon Temple." The lady seated across from us started chuckling. If you have read previous stories you will know that my daughter has a fascination with the fact that we are not LDS (Mormon). Once we were in the temple grounds Isabella asked if we could go in the big building. I told her that we couldn't since we were "Mexican". She looked at me and said, "Well, you're half Mormon, you can go in."
Thursday, November 20, 2008
THE TOOTH FAIRY
Yesterday my daughter lost her third tooth. This was very exciting for her because the first two never really became loose and fell out – her permanent teeth had come in behind them so the dentist had to pull them. This is where I will warn you that if you believe in the tooth fairy you should read no further.
When she lost her first two teeth my sister was staying with us and she told her that she had to put her teeth under her pillow so the tooth fairly could come at night to bring her money in exchange for her teeth. My sister continued to tell her that the tooth fairy also left behind fairy dust. Since my daughter insisted on sleeping with her aunt that night, she got the honors of being the tooth fairy. I found some craft glitter for her to use as fairy dust. During the night she replaced the teeth with four quarters and got a little carried away with the “fairy dust”. When my daughter woke she was so excited because she was covered in fairy dust and now had “some monies” as she put it. She was blinking the dust out of her eyes excitedly!
I tell you this story because my daughter came home from school yesterday with the tooth fairy bag. She proceeded to tell me that she had discussed the tooth fairy with her classmates and was told by her friend that if she washed the tooth and made it all nice and clean she would get more money. I told her that I didn’t think the tooth fairy really cared about that. Around 2:00 PM I realized the house was unusually quiet, so I went in search of my daughter. She had curled up in my bed, with her tooth in a bag under her pillow and the tooth fairy doll next to her in hopes of the tooth fairy coming early! I quietly snuck in there, pulled her tooth from the bag, put one dollar in the too fairy doll’s bag, and sprinkled “fairy dust” on her.
When she awoke, she was upset because she noticed her tooth was gone, but there was no money – until she saw the money was in the bag. She came out screaming excitedly that she had money and that the tooth fairy had come. She said she didn’t even know she had come and then asked if I had seen her. Then she tells me, “I think I did saw her.”
“Really,” I asked, “What did she look like?”
“She was really small and pretty.”
I just laughed. I wonder how much longer she will believe in the Tooth Fairy? I hope until all her baby teeth fall out!
When she lost her first two teeth my sister was staying with us and she told her that she had to put her teeth under her pillow so the tooth fairly could come at night to bring her money in exchange for her teeth. My sister continued to tell her that the tooth fairy also left behind fairy dust. Since my daughter insisted on sleeping with her aunt that night, she got the honors of being the tooth fairy. I found some craft glitter for her to use as fairy dust. During the night she replaced the teeth with four quarters and got a little carried away with the “fairy dust”. When my daughter woke she was so excited because she was covered in fairy dust and now had “some monies” as she put it. She was blinking the dust out of her eyes excitedly!
I tell you this story because my daughter came home from school yesterday with the tooth fairy bag. She proceeded to tell me that she had discussed the tooth fairy with her classmates and was told by her friend that if she washed the tooth and made it all nice and clean she would get more money. I told her that I didn’t think the tooth fairy really cared about that. Around 2:00 PM I realized the house was unusually quiet, so I went in search of my daughter. She had curled up in my bed, with her tooth in a bag under her pillow and the tooth fairy doll next to her in hopes of the tooth fairy coming early! I quietly snuck in there, pulled her tooth from the bag, put one dollar in the too fairy doll’s bag, and sprinkled “fairy dust” on her.
When she awoke, she was upset because she noticed her tooth was gone, but there was no money – until she saw the money was in the bag. She came out screaming excitedly that she had money and that the tooth fairy had come. She said she didn’t even know she had come and then asked if I had seen her. Then she tells me, “I think I did saw her.”
“Really,” I asked, “What did she look like?”
“She was really small and pretty.”
I just laughed. I wonder how much longer she will believe in the Tooth Fairy? I hope until all her baby teeth fall out!
GEOGRAPHY LESSON NEEDED
I am wondering if they teach geography in school anymore or is it one of those subjects deemed unnecessary and cut out of the current curriculum? My husband, a cell tower technician, called me today to tell me a humorous story. He had gone to a site that was down. After he corrected the problem he called the company's technical call center to let them know it had been fixed. When the call center employee answered, my husband identified himself as “Doug from Utah.” The call center employee responded with, “Um, what state is that?”
“Utah?” my husband answered a bit sarcastically.
“Is that in Texas?” the call center employee asked.
My husband was dumbfounded as he replied, “Uh, No, it’s Utah.”
He said the call center employee just got quiet after that.
Seriously people, is it too much to ask that we at least know the names of all fifty states in this fine country of ours? Oh and by the way New Mexico is part of the USA!
“Utah?” my husband answered a bit sarcastically.
“Is that in Texas?” the call center employee asked.
My husband was dumbfounded as he replied, “Uh, No, it’s Utah.”
He said the call center employee just got quiet after that.
Seriously people, is it too much to ask that we at least know the names of all fifty states in this fine country of ours? Oh and by the way New Mexico is part of the USA!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
CASH DIET
At the beginning of the month I told my six year old and my husband that we were on a “cash diet”. With the economy the way it is, I think that we need to tighten the spending belt and eliminate our frivolous spending. No more daily trips to 7-Eleven for a Slurpee™, no more eating dinner out five times a week, and no more “prizes” when we go grocery shopping. It is amazing how much money you can save just by cutting those things or reducing them. I am embarrassed to even say how much money we spend on non-essential items each month.
I didn’t realize that my daughter translated this as “we are poor” until a couple of weekends ago when she went to a friend’s birthday party. Upon picking her up, the mom told me that she was still laughing because my daughter told her that she was going to have to sell some of her colorings to earn money for us because we have a house that costs $25,000 (whole other story!) and we were poor. She continued to tell her how we were on some kind of diet! I could have died, but I laughed instead.
Last night I was looking through old pictures I had scanned on my computer when my daughter saw my high school senior picture and asked me to print a copy out for her. I did, thinking she just wanted it to look at. Later that evening she came to me and said, “Mom, I think you need to print me out a bunch of these so I can sell them to the neighbors.” I just started laughing! I told her that she did not need to go door to door selling my picture. Could you imagine that? I mean, I know I looked good, but really, how much money would my picture bring in?
It does warm my heart that my daughter wants to contribute to the family budget. Kids need to learn that money does not grow on trees and that you don’t get everything you want when you want it. I told my husband we need to help her set up a Lemon-Aide stand so she can feel like she is contributing. At the same time I don’t want her to worry about our finances. It is a difficult lesson to teach a child especially when she is used to getting everything she wants.
The funny thing is that this morning when I got up I saw that she had hung my picture on the outside of her bedroom door for all to see. What can I say? My daughter loves me! Am I lucky or what?
I didn’t realize that my daughter translated this as “we are poor” until a couple of weekends ago when she went to a friend’s birthday party. Upon picking her up, the mom told me that she was still laughing because my daughter told her that she was going to have to sell some of her colorings to earn money for us because we have a house that costs $25,000 (whole other story!) and we were poor. She continued to tell her how we were on some kind of diet! I could have died, but I laughed instead.
Last night I was looking through old pictures I had scanned on my computer when my daughter saw my high school senior picture and asked me to print a copy out for her. I did, thinking she just wanted it to look at. Later that evening she came to me and said, “Mom, I think you need to print me out a bunch of these so I can sell them to the neighbors.” I just started laughing! I told her that she did not need to go door to door selling my picture. Could you imagine that? I mean, I know I looked good, but really, how much money would my picture bring in?
It does warm my heart that my daughter wants to contribute to the family budget. Kids need to learn that money does not grow on trees and that you don’t get everything you want when you want it. I told my husband we need to help her set up a Lemon-Aide stand so she can feel like she is contributing. At the same time I don’t want her to worry about our finances. It is a difficult lesson to teach a child especially when she is used to getting everything she wants.
The funny thing is that this morning when I got up I saw that she had hung my picture on the outside of her bedroom door for all to see. What can I say? My daughter loves me! Am I lucky or what?
Monday, October 27, 2008
HALLOWEEN
This past weekend my sister took my daughter and my nieces to Boo at the Zoo. The girls were so cute. They got all dressed in their costumes and posed for me before they left.
Halloween is coming soon and I am so ready! I remember being young and all excited about Halloween and trying to decide what costume I was going to wear. This will date me, but we used to get those cheap store bought costumes that had the plastic masks and my mom would modify them. I always wished that my mom sewed because I wanted a nice homemade costume like my friends. What is funny now is that my daughter would rather have a cheap looking costume from that store than a good homemade costume! I dont' get it.
This will be our first Halloween in our new neighborhood so I hope I have enough candy. I always worry about that. One year I made the mistake of handing out whole candy bars. Apparently the word got out around the neighborhood because the previous year I had maybe thirty trick-or-treaters but that year we ran out of candy. My mom started raiding my pantry and was handing out packages of popcorn. When I asked her why she didn't just turn off the lights and not answer the door, she said that she did but the kids just kept coming! So, I made a promise to myself that I would never hand out whole size candy bars again!
My sister-in-law's birthday is on Halloween, so every year we head over to their house with the apple crisp I have made to celebrate. Before we have hot apple crisp and cinnamon ice cream we take the kids trick-or-treating in their neighborhood.
By the time we return home I am so ready for bed and I am always glad that Halloween is over!
Friday, October 24, 2008
WORDS OF WISDOM
Kids say the funniest things! Earlier this evening we were driving home and my six year old daughter and her 7 year old cousin were discussing what you do in case of an earthquake and in case of a fire. My niece asks, “Aunt Shell do you know what you do when you are trapped in a fire?” I replied, “No, what do you do?” Her response, “You die!”
I am still laughing about that. She also told us that if the door handle is hot “You’re a goner.” Do they teach this in school when they are doing fire drills because I don’t remember learning that!
At least I got a good laugh!
I am still laughing about that. She also told us that if the door handle is hot “You’re a goner.” Do they teach this in school when they are doing fire drills because I don’t remember learning that!
At least I got a good laugh!
Monday, October 20, 2008
LINE BUTTING AND OTHER TRAVEL PET PEEVES
Last week I was on travel to DC for work and I experienced one of my travel pet peeves twice – line butting. When you come upon a long line of people standing at the curb waiting for the shuttle do you really think we are standing there just for the hell of it? It really pisses me off when I have stood in line for two shuttles and this one jerk walks up, looks at us, and heads to the front of the line! I want to scream, “Hey! Jerk! Do you think this line is just for fun?” Instead, I stand there silently fuming like half the other line standers as the line butting jerk enters the shuttle first!
Another travel pet peeve I have is seating space on the airplane. Have you ever noticed no matter how fat or skinny you are you still end up squished hip to hip? This is not what bothers me, what bothers me is when the person whom you are temporarily attached to for a five hour flight acts as if you have some deadly disease and recoils from your leg or hip touch. Let’s be realistic here. You are on a plane in a seat with about 12 inches of space for your ass – some body part is going to make contact! Get used to it and deal with it! I refuse to hold my legs tight for five hours causing muscle cramping just so you aren’t touched by a stranger. If you are that OCD, then get a first class ticket!
The flight that I take home from DC is always over booked, so I expect to be uncomfortable on the flight. On one trip I had the misfortune of being seated in the middle seat – this is the worst seat to be in on a full flight and if you ask me is just the worst seat period! Anyway, as I boarded the plane I realized that the extremely large man seated in the aisle seat and taking up half of the middle seat was in my row! Not being a small person myself I knew this would be a fun trip and was praying for a skinny person to be seated in the window seat. Alas, it was not to be my fate as on walks this tall, big boned Polynesian woman indicating that she had the window seat. I was prepared to be totally miserable sandwiched in the middle seat for five long hours. Fortunately, the woman was very friendly and had no problem if any part of me touched her. In fact she apologized ahead of time for being squished and told me not to worry about touching. Finally a fellow traveler who understood the inevitability of being temporarily attached at the hip! Still, the trip was a miserable one because one side of me was suctioned to the big man from sweat! I know – gross! But it is true.
Another travel pet peeve I have is seating space on the airplane. Have you ever noticed no matter how fat or skinny you are you still end up squished hip to hip? This is not what bothers me, what bothers me is when the person whom you are temporarily attached to for a five hour flight acts as if you have some deadly disease and recoils from your leg or hip touch. Let’s be realistic here. You are on a plane in a seat with about 12 inches of space for your ass – some body part is going to make contact! Get used to it and deal with it! I refuse to hold my legs tight for five hours causing muscle cramping just so you aren’t touched by a stranger. If you are that OCD, then get a first class ticket!
The flight that I take home from DC is always over booked, so I expect to be uncomfortable on the flight. On one trip I had the misfortune of being seated in the middle seat – this is the worst seat to be in on a full flight and if you ask me is just the worst seat period! Anyway, as I boarded the plane I realized that the extremely large man seated in the aisle seat and taking up half of the middle seat was in my row! Not being a small person myself I knew this would be a fun trip and was praying for a skinny person to be seated in the window seat. Alas, it was not to be my fate as on walks this tall, big boned Polynesian woman indicating that she had the window seat. I was prepared to be totally miserable sandwiched in the middle seat for five long hours. Fortunately, the woman was very friendly and had no problem if any part of me touched her. In fact she apologized ahead of time for being squished and told me not to worry about touching. Finally a fellow traveler who understood the inevitability of being temporarily attached at the hip! Still, the trip was a miserable one because one side of me was suctioned to the big man from sweat! I know – gross! But it is true.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
EVERYTHING IS LOOKIN' GOOD
Yesterday I was sitting in the recliner bemoaning the fact that I felt like crap, when my daughter comes running out of the other room all excited. She grabs the remote to the TV and says, “Mom! Mom! You have to see what is happening!” as she turns the channel to a local news station.
By her excitement I thought maybe there was a news flash with breaking news. Then she says, “They said, ‘Everything is lookin' good today’! Mom, everything is lookin' good!”
I am still laughing about that one. I think we often forget that kids can be the best source of humor. She definitely brought a smile to my face. Even now as I remember the sparkle in her eyes and her dimples flashing along with her body trembling in excitement it makes me feel all warm inside to know that she can get that happy about the world.
By her excitement I thought maybe there was a news flash with breaking news. Then she says, “They said, ‘Everything is lookin' good today’! Mom, everything is lookin' good!”
I am still laughing about that one. I think we often forget that kids can be the best source of humor. She definitely brought a smile to my face. Even now as I remember the sparkle in her eyes and her dimples flashing along with her body trembling in excitement it makes me feel all warm inside to know that she can get that happy about the world.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
OUT OF THE MOUTHS OF BABES
Have you ever noticed that kids say the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times leaving you utterly embarrassed and at a loss as what to say?
Yesterday I took my daughter to 7-Eleven to get a Slurpee. While we were waiting for my credit card to process she opens her mouth and out spills every minute detail about anything and everything she has ever heard! Normally I just ignore her, but at the end of her dialog she blurts out, “and my uncle is in prison.” As if that is a very important piece of information required for our purchase! I just smiled and pulled her out the door. I have tried to explain that she doesn’t have to reveal every detail of our families’ lives to the whole world.
Later that day, having forgotten the embarrassing moment at 7-Eleven, we went to Walmart where we met my sister. My daughter loves her aunt very much and sometimes I think she prefers her over me, so she immediately attached herself and off they went on their merry way to shop. Later we met to check out together. My sister was in front of us paying for her stuff when my daughter says to the cashier, “This is my aunt. Her house is little and dirty.” Ask me if I wanted to die. My sister starts laughing hysterically while my husband and I stand in line red faced.
As we were checking out we were apologizing profusely to my sister who told us that we should never feel we have to apologize for our daughter because she knows she speaks her mind and that is just her and she was telling the truth -- her house is small and it is always dirty when my daughter goes over.
I try to limit my daughter’s exposure to adult conversations lest she repeat it verbatim in public. I have taken to spelling, but I fear that won’t last too long as she is in school and will be able to spell before we know it. If my mom were still alive I would have immediately told her sorry for all the times I did the same thing to her as a child! I know she would have gotten a good chuckle out of the whole thing.
Yesterday I took my daughter to 7-Eleven to get a Slurpee. While we were waiting for my credit card to process she opens her mouth and out spills every minute detail about anything and everything she has ever heard! Normally I just ignore her, but at the end of her dialog she blurts out, “and my uncle is in prison.” As if that is a very important piece of information required for our purchase! I just smiled and pulled her out the door. I have tried to explain that she doesn’t have to reveal every detail of our families’ lives to the whole world.
Later that day, having forgotten the embarrassing moment at 7-Eleven, we went to Walmart where we met my sister. My daughter loves her aunt very much and sometimes I think she prefers her over me, so she immediately attached herself and off they went on their merry way to shop. Later we met to check out together. My sister was in front of us paying for her stuff when my daughter says to the cashier, “This is my aunt. Her house is little and dirty.” Ask me if I wanted to die. My sister starts laughing hysterically while my husband and I stand in line red faced.
As we were checking out we were apologizing profusely to my sister who told us that we should never feel we have to apologize for our daughter because she knows she speaks her mind and that is just her and she was telling the truth -- her house is small and it is always dirty when my daughter goes over.
I try to limit my daughter’s exposure to adult conversations lest she repeat it verbatim in public. I have taken to spelling, but I fear that won’t last too long as she is in school and will be able to spell before we know it. If my mom were still alive I would have immediately told her sorry for all the times I did the same thing to her as a child! I know she would have gotten a good chuckle out of the whole thing.
Monday, September 29, 2008
THE BATTLE OF THE BULGE
It seems like most of my life I have fought the battle of the bulge and I feel as if I have been on the losing side the majority of the time. Looking back at pictures of my youth I think I started to gain weight in 4th grade. That was the year after I fell off of the monkey bars at school crushing three vertebrae and fracturing two. I wasn’t able to be as active as I had in the past and I began to get chubby. By the time I had entered junior high I was the fat girl. I was very self conscious about my weight and the cruelty of kids at school exacerbated my already waning self image.
One memory of the ridicule I suffered is particularly strong. It happened when I was in 7th grade. I would walk to school, so I would enter through the back doors of the building. On this particular day, when I tried to enter, some older kids held the doors closed. I remember they were skinny cowboy kids in their Wranglers and cowboy hats. They were all laughing and pointing at me. Unable to contain my tears I began to cry. One boy started pointing and taunting me by saying, “Look at the fat girl cry! Look at the fat girl cry!” I could still hear their laughter and taunting in my head as I walk around to the front of the building where I bumped into my favorite teacher, Mrs. Jones. She asked what was wrong and between tears I told her the story. She immediately went to the back doors where she caught the offenders. She reprimanded them all, but the damage was done.
By the time I had entered high school I had developed an eating disorder. That summer I had made a vow to myself that I was not going to start high school as the loud fat girl from junior high who never had a boyfriend. Upon returning from the summer with my aunt, I started purging. From there I began exercising everyday and finally I was barely eating. I subsisted on about 50 carbs a day at first. I dropped 50 pounds that first month – going from a size 14 to a size 10. I received so much praise from everyone around me that I was floating. On the first day of high school, when I walked in the door no one recognized me. I think they were in shock. I continued barely eating and purging what little I had in me. I would never eat with my family, so they never saw what I was doing. I thought I was still fat and wanted to lose even more weight so every night I would go running then I would come home and put on a sweat suit and sit in the bathroom with the shower on hot so I could steam the weight off. I was so self conscious at school that I became somewhat introverted and it was extremely painful for me to even attempt to make conversation with the opposite sex.
It wasn’t until my junior year that my mom suspected something was wrong and confronted me. Apparently she had heard me purging several times through the vent in the bathroom. I was so humiliated when she confronted me. I tried to deny it, but I always had a hard time lying to my mom’s face. She immediately made an appointment for me at the University Hospital. I found out later that one of my teachers had suspected I had a problem and had called my mom at home to discuss it with her. Once I was at the doctor’s office I got the lecture of a lifetime. The doctor was almost hollering at me as he asked me what the hell I was thinking and did I want to kill myself at a young age. I think I was in tears when we left. I ended up with a referral to the eating disorders clinic. Everyday after school I had to take the bus to the hospital to visit the clinic lest I wanted to be hospitalized and force fed. I had to bring a list of everything I had eaten and tell the doctor whether I had purged and why. I was weighed in every day. I would be patted down to make sure I wasn’t weighting my clothing. Through all of this, my little brother was by my side. He would meet me at the bus stop and ride with me to the hospital sitting in the waiting room while I talked about why I felt the need to do this to my body. This lasted the rest of my junior year. Then one day I got so frustrated with the therapist, I just walked out and refused to return – that was probably the worst decision I had made at that point in my life.
I struggled with my eating disorder throughout college where I would occasionally binge and purge. I struggled with it when I moved away to DC to work where I began an intensive work out regime along with limited food intake. My meals would consist of coffee for breakfast, coffee for lunch, and dry toast and a small boiled potato for dinner. I felt like my life was spiraling out of control. Eventually it all caught up with me at the age of 30.
That fall I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and I gradually began to gain weight. Before I knew it I had gained 100 pounds. My self esteem took a huge nose dive. By this time I was married and I think I took my frustration out on my husband. I was frustrated because I noticed the difference between the way I was treated when I was skinny and the way I was treated when I was fat. Every time I went to the doctor he would tell me that my only problem was that I was fat. It got to the point that I would have to be on death’s door before I would go in to see him and then I would try to ignore his fat comments. He was a little old man and you don’t know how badly I wanted to say, “So! You’re old. At least I can lose weight. You on the other hand are just going to get older and die!” However, I managed to refrain.
After three unsuccessful years of trying to have a baby, I went in to see an OB/GYN. I had never seen this woman before. When I told her my concerns, she said, “You’re fat. Have more sex.” I was pissed! I never went back to her again. Eventually I found a fertility doctor who told me that although obesity does contribute to infertility, many heavy women get pregnant. I eventually went on to have my daughter.
When we moved to Utah I decided to go back to the OB/GYN that I had seen before I left and who happened to be my mother’s doctor for the past 30 years. When he walked in the room I handed him my medical records. He took them and didn’t even look at them. Then he looked at me and said, “You’re fat. You should go on the South Beach diet.” I tried to ignore him but when I spoke to him about the problems I had with my pregnancy he cut me off and said, “It was all because you were fat.” About this time I was wondering how the hell he knew if I was fat then or not. What I should have done was gotten dressed and walked out, but like a dummy I just sat there dumfounded. I did, however, find a new OB/GYN after that.
A few months later I had been referred to a Rheumatologist by my primary care doctor because he thought I was in a Lupus flare up. When the rheumatologist walked in he looked at me and told me that there was no way I had Lupus because I was too fat and that if I had Lupus I would be skinny because it would eat my body. What a joke. I was so angry. When I told my primary care doctor what he said he was visibly upset.
My experiences with being prejudiced against because of my weight go beyond the medical. I travel often for work. When I was skinny I always had men asking if they could help me with my bags or offer me their seat on the shuttle. Those days were gone once I gained weight. I can be struggling with my bags and almost fall off of the shuttle and they just standby impatiently waiting for me to be done. It is very frustrating.
I finally realized I was in a huge slump this past spring. Why can’t heavy women look beautiful? Resigned to wearing what my family referred to as my leisure suits, I had no desire to buy anything new, so I spent my winters looking like a fat frumpy house frau! I finally decided to check out Lane Bryant. I love that store – it proves that you can be big and look good!
As good as I felt I looked, I still had low self esteem. In the past when I am heavy I don’t like pictures to be taken of me, but recently I let myself be photographed at family parties. A few weeks ago I was looking at those pictures and I realized I had become that fat woman I promised myself I would never be. I had gained a total of 150 pounds over the past 10 years – most of it the first two years. Not wanting to die young like other members of my family and already being at risk for heart disease through genetics, I finally decided I was ready to take the weight off. I joined Weight Watchers last week and as of my first weigh in have lost three pounds. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but at least I am on the path to becoming healthy again and being able to keep up with my daughter. My husband and I have made walking each night a part of our family time routine and our daughter loves it. I know I can do this and I can do it the healthy way. It will take longer to lose it than it did to gain it but I am determined.
One memory of the ridicule I suffered is particularly strong. It happened when I was in 7th grade. I would walk to school, so I would enter through the back doors of the building. On this particular day, when I tried to enter, some older kids held the doors closed. I remember they were skinny cowboy kids in their Wranglers and cowboy hats. They were all laughing and pointing at me. Unable to contain my tears I began to cry. One boy started pointing and taunting me by saying, “Look at the fat girl cry! Look at the fat girl cry!” I could still hear their laughter and taunting in my head as I walk around to the front of the building where I bumped into my favorite teacher, Mrs. Jones. She asked what was wrong and between tears I told her the story. She immediately went to the back doors where she caught the offenders. She reprimanded them all, but the damage was done.
By the time I had entered high school I had developed an eating disorder. That summer I had made a vow to myself that I was not going to start high school as the loud fat girl from junior high who never had a boyfriend. Upon returning from the summer with my aunt, I started purging. From there I began exercising everyday and finally I was barely eating. I subsisted on about 50 carbs a day at first. I dropped 50 pounds that first month – going from a size 14 to a size 10. I received so much praise from everyone around me that I was floating. On the first day of high school, when I walked in the door no one recognized me. I think they were in shock. I continued barely eating and purging what little I had in me. I would never eat with my family, so they never saw what I was doing. I thought I was still fat and wanted to lose even more weight so every night I would go running then I would come home and put on a sweat suit and sit in the bathroom with the shower on hot so I could steam the weight off. I was so self conscious at school that I became somewhat introverted and it was extremely painful for me to even attempt to make conversation with the opposite sex.
It wasn’t until my junior year that my mom suspected something was wrong and confronted me. Apparently she had heard me purging several times through the vent in the bathroom. I was so humiliated when she confronted me. I tried to deny it, but I always had a hard time lying to my mom’s face. She immediately made an appointment for me at the University Hospital. I found out later that one of my teachers had suspected I had a problem and had called my mom at home to discuss it with her. Once I was at the doctor’s office I got the lecture of a lifetime. The doctor was almost hollering at me as he asked me what the hell I was thinking and did I want to kill myself at a young age. I think I was in tears when we left. I ended up with a referral to the eating disorders clinic. Everyday after school I had to take the bus to the hospital to visit the clinic lest I wanted to be hospitalized and force fed. I had to bring a list of everything I had eaten and tell the doctor whether I had purged and why. I was weighed in every day. I would be patted down to make sure I wasn’t weighting my clothing. Through all of this, my little brother was by my side. He would meet me at the bus stop and ride with me to the hospital sitting in the waiting room while I talked about why I felt the need to do this to my body. This lasted the rest of my junior year. Then one day I got so frustrated with the therapist, I just walked out and refused to return – that was probably the worst decision I had made at that point in my life.
I struggled with my eating disorder throughout college where I would occasionally binge and purge. I struggled with it when I moved away to DC to work where I began an intensive work out regime along with limited food intake. My meals would consist of coffee for breakfast, coffee for lunch, and dry toast and a small boiled potato for dinner. I felt like my life was spiraling out of control. Eventually it all caught up with me at the age of 30.
That fall I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and I gradually began to gain weight. Before I knew it I had gained 100 pounds. My self esteem took a huge nose dive. By this time I was married and I think I took my frustration out on my husband. I was frustrated because I noticed the difference between the way I was treated when I was skinny and the way I was treated when I was fat. Every time I went to the doctor he would tell me that my only problem was that I was fat. It got to the point that I would have to be on death’s door before I would go in to see him and then I would try to ignore his fat comments. He was a little old man and you don’t know how badly I wanted to say, “So! You’re old. At least I can lose weight. You on the other hand are just going to get older and die!” However, I managed to refrain.
After three unsuccessful years of trying to have a baby, I went in to see an OB/GYN. I had never seen this woman before. When I told her my concerns, she said, “You’re fat. Have more sex.” I was pissed! I never went back to her again. Eventually I found a fertility doctor who told me that although obesity does contribute to infertility, many heavy women get pregnant. I eventually went on to have my daughter.
When we moved to Utah I decided to go back to the OB/GYN that I had seen before I left and who happened to be my mother’s doctor for the past 30 years. When he walked in the room I handed him my medical records. He took them and didn’t even look at them. Then he looked at me and said, “You’re fat. You should go on the South Beach diet.” I tried to ignore him but when I spoke to him about the problems I had with my pregnancy he cut me off and said, “It was all because you were fat.” About this time I was wondering how the hell he knew if I was fat then or not. What I should have done was gotten dressed and walked out, but like a dummy I just sat there dumfounded. I did, however, find a new OB/GYN after that.
A few months later I had been referred to a Rheumatologist by my primary care doctor because he thought I was in a Lupus flare up. When the rheumatologist walked in he looked at me and told me that there was no way I had Lupus because I was too fat and that if I had Lupus I would be skinny because it would eat my body. What a joke. I was so angry. When I told my primary care doctor what he said he was visibly upset.
My experiences with being prejudiced against because of my weight go beyond the medical. I travel often for work. When I was skinny I always had men asking if they could help me with my bags or offer me their seat on the shuttle. Those days were gone once I gained weight. I can be struggling with my bags and almost fall off of the shuttle and they just standby impatiently waiting for me to be done. It is very frustrating.
I finally realized I was in a huge slump this past spring. Why can’t heavy women look beautiful? Resigned to wearing what my family referred to as my leisure suits, I had no desire to buy anything new, so I spent my winters looking like a fat frumpy house frau! I finally decided to check out Lane Bryant. I love that store – it proves that you can be big and look good!
As good as I felt I looked, I still had low self esteem. In the past when I am heavy I don’t like pictures to be taken of me, but recently I let myself be photographed at family parties. A few weeks ago I was looking at those pictures and I realized I had become that fat woman I promised myself I would never be. I had gained a total of 150 pounds over the past 10 years – most of it the first two years. Not wanting to die young like other members of my family and already being at risk for heart disease through genetics, I finally decided I was ready to take the weight off. I joined Weight Watchers last week and as of my first weigh in have lost three pounds. It doesn’t sound like a lot, but at least I am on the path to becoming healthy again and being able to keep up with my daughter. My husband and I have made walking each night a part of our family time routine and our daughter loves it. I know I can do this and I can do it the healthy way. It will take longer to lose it than it did to gain it but I am determined.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)