GOTTA GET THE GIRL SOME RELIGION

I grew up with a mother who wanted us to experience all religions so that some day we could choose what we wanted. We went to Saturday night mass at the nearby Catholic Church, Primary at the LDS Ward, Vacation Bible School in the summer, and more. The result was that I am now so not into religion that I am not sure what I believe in. This would normally not be an issue, but my six year old has begun to ask a lot of questions about God, Jesus, angels, demons, and the devil. Oh and let’s not forget Heaven and Hell.

It really hit home when Saturday morning she came running into my room and hopped on the bed all excited because apparently she had been watching the Catholic station on cable. She was shaking me as she was excitedly telling me, “Mom! Mom! I’m watching some religion on TV and they said he is gonna rise! God is gonna rise on March 15th!” She was so excited it made me laugh!

I told my husband that he really needs to take her to church since I do know that I do not believe in religion itself. She is desperate to learn about religion and it shows! In the meantime I try to explain to her that God is NOT going to rise on the 15th.

OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BELLA

The other day I took Bella to see her dentist for her bi-annual teeth cleaning. My sister was also there with my 14 year old nephew who was getting his braces fixed – that’s a whole other story, but let’s just say “Who chews on a nickel? Really?” When Bella was called back my nephew was walking out. She got all excited and was trying to give Tony a hug. Then she turns to the dental hygienist and says, “That’s my cousin, Tony. Do you want to know what we call him?”

“Yeah”, said the hygienist.

“We call him Tony Bologna.” The hygienist chuckled as she led us to our cube. After the hygienist cleaned Bella’s teeth the dentist came in. He started mentioning that she may need braces in the future and that he does orthodontics also. I replied that I knew that because my nephew, Tony, was one of his patients.

The dental hygienist turns to Bella and says, “Tell him what you call Tony.”

Bella gets silent for a moment and suddenly she blurts out, “STUPID! That’s what we call him!” We all start laughing and the hygienist points out that that was not what she told her on the way in. Bella looks at us and says, “Well, that’s what Aunt Tina calls him.”